Federal Workers Discover Enlightenment in Third Month of Unpaid Leave
by Federal Workers Discover Enlightenment in Third Month of Unpaid Leave – Mass layoffs trigger unexpected spiritual awakening among government employees
Month: November 2025
Mamdani Launches Campaign to Replace Capitalism With “Something Nicer”
Mamdani Launches Campaign to Replace Capitalism With “Something Nicer” – Columbia professor’s economic plan involves “everyone just being cool”
Government Shutdown That Ended Last Week Still Affecting Nobody
Government Shutdown That Ended Last Week Still Affecting Nobody – Federal workers return to discover their jobs remained unnecessary
Prince Andrew’s Sandringham Relocation Solves All Royal Problems
Prince Andrew’s Sandringham Relocation Solves All Royal Problems – Disgraced prince’s new cottage comes with “minimal visibility” feature
Trump Administration Unveils Innovative Approach to Sino-American Relations
Trump Administration Unveils Innovative Approach to Sino-American Relations – Plan involves “just being really, really nice” to Xi Jinping
Nation’s Trains Finally Achieve Independence From Human Oppression
Nation’s Trains Finally Achieve Independence From Human Oppression – Driverless technology hailed as liberation movement for railway infrastructure
Trump Proposes Expanding ICE to Handle All Federal Responsibilities
Trump Proposes Expanding ICE to Handle All Federal Responsibilities – Immigration agency to absorb IRS, EPA, and “probably education too”
Trump’s 60 Minutes Interview Reaches New Levels of Coherence
Trump’s 60 Minutes Interview Reaches New Levels of Coherence – President answers questions with words, mostly in expected order
American Workplace Discovers African Time Is Actually Just Flexible Project Management
American Workplace Discovers African Time Is Actually Just Flexible Project Management – Immigrant introduces “fluid scheduling” to shocked corporate America
Religion vs. Reality (Part 2)
Religion vs. Reality (Part 2) – The Rematch Nobody Requested
Local Man Discovers American “Spicy” Food Is Actually Just Ketchup with Anxiety
Local Man Discovers American “Spicy” Food Is Actually Just Ketchup with Anxiety – West African immigrant shocked to learn Mayo is considered “exotic”
JD Vance’s Babyface Halloween Catastrophe
JD Vance’s Babyface Halloween Catastrophe – When Political Costumes Go Horribly Wrong
Federal Judge Dreams She’s Congress
Federal Judge Dreams She’s Congress – Judicial Overreach Meets Power Fantasy
Mitch McConnell’s Turtle Time
Mitch McConnell’s Turtle Time – Senate’s Slowest Reptile Finally Retreats Into Shell
Liz Cheney’s Ghost of Integrity Past
Liz Cheney’s Ghost of Integrity Past – The Republican Party’s Conscience in Exile
Joe Biden’s Grandpa Time Travel
Joe Biden’s Grandpa Time Travel – The President Who Forgot What Year It Is
Donald Trump’s Lincoln Bathroom Ghost
Donald Trump’s Lincoln Bathroom Ghost – Paranormal Activity Meets Presidential Ego
How the Dallas Cowboys Became the NFL’s Most Profitable Oil Well
How the Dallas Cowboys Became the NFL’s Most Profitable Oil Well – Jerry Jones Discovers You Don’t Need Wins to Print Money
Donald Trump’s $300 Million Ballroom
Donald Trump’s $300 Million Ballroom – When Excess Meets Executive Power
Marjorie Taylor Greene’s MAGA Skeleton
Marjorie Taylor Greene’s MAGA Skeleton – Closet Reveals More Than Conspiracy Theories