by West African discovers Americans don’t use benefits they fought for
The Vacation Days That Nobody Takes
SAN FRANCISCO, CA – When Adaeze Okonkwo accepted her job offer, she was thrilled about the “unlimited vacation policy”a benefit that sounded too good to be true. Four months later, she realized it was too good to be true because Americans with unlimited vacation take less vacation than those with limited days, apparently afraid that using benefits makes them look lazy. “You have unlimited vacation and you took 4 days last year?” Okonkwo asked her coworker, her voice thick with confusion and pity. “That’s not unlimited vacation. That’s unlimited guilt disguised as a benefit. You’re scamming yourselves.”
The 29-year-old software engineer from Nigeria grew up in a culture where vacation time was sacredwhen you had days off, you used them. You visited family. You rested. You traveled. You existed as a human instead of a productivity unit. In San Francisco, her coworkers hoard unused vacation days like dragons hoarding gold they never spend, terrified that taking time off will reveal they’re not indispensable. “Nobody’s indispensable,” Okonkwo explained. “Your company will replace you within 3 weeks if you quit. But you’re sacrificing actual rest for the illusion of importance. This is sad and stupid.”
When Unlimited Benefits Mean Zero Actual Benefits
According to Society for Human Resource Management research, employees with unlimited vacation take an average of 13 days annuallyfewer than those with traditional vacation allowances who average 15 days. Okonkwo discovered this phenomenon firsthand when she requested 3 weeks off to visit family in Lagos. Her manager approved it but his face suggested she’d requested to burn down the office. “Three weeks?” he repeated. “That’s… a long time.” Okonkwo’s response: “It’s 15 business days. If the company can’t function without one person for 15 days, the problem isn’t my vacationit’s your organizational structure.”
Jerry Seinfeld said, “What’s the deal with vacations? You go somewhere to relax, then you need a vacation from your vacation.” What’s the deal with Americans who don’t take vacations and wonder why they’re exhausted, burned out, and resentful? Okonkwo’s coworker Brad hasn’t taken more than 4 consecutive days off in 3 years. He looks like he’s aging in dog years. When Okonkwo suggested he take a real vacation, Brad said he’s “too busy.” Busy doing what? Being tired? Looking important? Slowly dying at his desk?
The Guilt That Comes With Using Your Benefits
Okonkwo requested two weeks off. Before she left, three colleagues asked if everything was “okay” because apparently taking vacation means something is wronga medical emergency, family crisis, existential breakdown. “Everything’s fine,” she explained repeatedly. “I’m just taking vacation. To rest. Like humans need to do.” Her coworkers looked skeptical, like rest was suspicious, possibly un-American. “You people fought for labor rights and then don’t use them,” Okonkwo observed. “Your ancestors would riot.”
Dave Chappelle said, “Sometimes you have to protect yourself from yourself.” Americans need protection from their work culture that convinces them rest is laziness. Okonkwo’s coworker admitted she feels guilty taking time off even though it’s unlimited. “Guilty for what?” Okonkwo asked. “Using a benefit your company advertises? If they didn’t want you to use it, they shouldn’t offer it. The guilt isn’t coming from policyit’s coming from culture. You’ve created a workplace where using benefits feels like failing. That’s not unlimited vacationthat’s psychological manipulation with corporate branding.”
Before her trip, Okonkwo set an out-of-office message: “I’m on vacation. I won’t be checking email. If it’s urgent, contact [colleague]. If it’s not urgent, it can wait.” Her coworker’s out-of-office message: “I’m on limited availability but will be checking emails periodically. For urgent matters, still contact me.” That’s not vacationthat’s remote work with a beach background. The difference is clarity: Okonkwo understands vacation means not working. Americans understand vacation means working from somewhere else.
When Being Offline Becomes an Act of Rebellion
Okonkwo turned off her work email on vacation. Completely off. Her coworkers were horrified. “What if something comes up?” they asked. “Then someone else handles it,” Okonkwo explained slowly, like teaching toddlers object permanence. “The company has other employees. Systems. Processes. If the company can’t function without me checking email for two weeks, that’s a company problem, not my problem. I’m not a surgeon. Nobody dies if I don’t respond to a Slack message about Q3 projections.”
Chris Rock said, “You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy.” Okonkwo knows work culture is crazy when taking actual vacationnot checking email, not attending meetings, not being availableis considered extreme. Her coworkers take vacation but remain “reachable just in case.” Just in case what? The company realizes you’re actually not that important? The work continues without you? The revelation that you’re replaceable becomes obvious?
The Vacation Where You Work From the Beach
Okonkwo’s coworker posted vacation photos from Hawaiibeautiful beaches, sunsets, relaxation. Okonkwo called her. She was on a work call. “You’re on vacation,” Okonkwo said. “Why are you on a call?” Her coworker explained she had a “quick meeting” that “couldn’t wait.” The meeting lasted 90 minutes. The vacation was ruined. The call could’ve absolutely waited. But American work culture convinces people that everything is urgent, everyone is essential, and rest is optional.
Bill Burr said, “I’m not going to apologize for being right.” Okonkwo’s not apologizing for actually taking vacation like vacation is supposed to work. “You people blur the boundaries between work and life, then wonder why you’re always working,” she told her coworker. “Your vacation isn’t vacation if you’re still working. You’re just working from a more expensive location with better weather. That’s not restthat’s relocating your stress.”
The most absurd moment came when Okonkwo’s manager sent her a Slack message on her vacation day 4: “Hey, quick question about the Jenkins project…” Okonkwo didn’t respond for 10 days. When she returned, her manager seemed confused. “I messaged you last week.” “I was on vacation,” Okonkwo reminded him. “Yeah, but I thought you might check messages.” “Why would I check messages on vacation? That defeats the entire purpose of vacation. If it was urgent, you should’ve contacted my backup. If it wasn’t urgent, you should’ve waited. Those are the only two options. There’s no third option where I work on vacation.”
When European Vacation Standards Meet American Work Ethics
Okonkwo’s European colleagues take 4-5 weeks vacation annually without guilt. Her American colleagues take 1-2 weeks and apologize for it. “Why are you apologizing for using benefits you’ve earned?” she asked. Her coworker explained American work culture values “hustle” and “dedication”code words for “never stop working or you’ll be seen as expendable.” Okonkwo’s translation: “You’ve been brainwashed into thinking survival requires constant availability. It doesn’t. You’re tired, burnt out, and resentful because you never actually rest. Europeans work to live. You live to work. Then you die younger, more stressed, with more unused vacation days.”
Amy Schumer said, “I’m not saying I’m lazy, I’m saying I’m energy efficient.” Americans aren’t energy efficientthey’re energy-depleting. They work without rest, wonder why they’re exhausted, drink coffee to compensate, work more, rest less, burn out, quit, and start the cycle at a new job with the same unlimited vacation nobody uses. Okonkwo’s energy management is simple: work hard, rest fully, return refreshed, repeat. Her coworkers’ method: work hard, rest poorly, return exhausted, work harder to compensate, collapse eventually.
The Company Culture That Punishes Rest
Okonkwo noticed something sinister: people who take vacation get excluded from important projects. Not officiallynever officially. But “since you’ll be out for two weeks, we’ll give this to Brad.” Brad’s reward for never taking vacation is more work. Okonkwo’s punishment for taking earned time off is being passed over. “You’re incentivizing burnout,” she told HR. “You offer unlimited vacation but punish people who use it. That’s not a benefitit’s a trap. Unlimited means nothing if the culture makes taking it career suicide.”
Kevin Hart said, “Everybody wants to be famous, but nobody wants to do the work.” Everybody wants good employees, but companies don’t want to do the work of building cultures where rest is valued. They want the appearance of generous benefitsunlimited vacation!without employees actually using them. Okonkwo’s request for three weeks raised eyebrows. Brad’s zero vacation days got praised as “dedication.” The message is clear: don’t use your benefits if you want to advance.
When Okonkwo returned from her three-week vacation, she was refreshed, productive, energized. Brad, who hadn’t taken meaningful time off in years, looked like a zombie in business casual. “Which of us looks like the dedicated employee?” Okonkwo asked him. “You’re exhausted, resentful, and half-present. I’m energized and productive. Yet you’re considered more dedicated because you never rest. This logic is backwards and killing you slowly.”
When Burnout Becomes a Badge of Honor
Last month, a colleague bragged about not taking vacation for 18 months. Everyone was impressed. Okonkwo was horrified. “You haven’t rested in a year and a half and you’re proud of this?” she asked. “That’s not dedicationthat’s self-destruction. Your company doesn’t love you for this. They’re just getting free labor from someone too afraid to rest.” Her colleague insisted he was “fine.” He quit three weeks later, citing burnout. Okonkwo wasn’t surprised. You can’t run forever without rest and expect to keep functioning.
Trevor Noah said, “In Africa, we don’t glorify suffering.” Americans glorify suffering and call it work ethic. Okonkwo’s observation: “You brag about not taking vacation, working while sick, checking email at midnight. You’ve made suffering a competition. Who can rest the least? Who can sacrifice the most? Who can burn out fastest? And for what? Companies that would replace you in 10 days if you quit. You’re killing yourselves for corporations that don’t care. Back home, we work hard but we also rest. We take our vacation. We visit family. We exist as humans. You people exist as human capitalresources to be used until depleted.”
When asked if she’ll adjust to American vacation culture, Okonkwo laughed while booking her next three-week trip home. “Never,” she said. “I’ll use every day I’m entitled to. I’ll rest fully. I’ll be unavailable on vacation. I’ll return refreshed instead of returning exhausted from working remotely in a different location. You people can keep pretending unlimited vacation without using it is a benefit. I’ll keep understanding that unused vacation is stolen rest, and companies that offer unlimited vacation while culturally punishing those who use it are running a scam. The vacation isn’t unlimitedthe guilt is.”
She paused, then added: “Americans worship productivity at the cost of everything elsehealth, relationships, joy, rest. You’ve been convinced that rest is earned through suffering, that vacation is luxury not necessity, that being always-available proves dedication. It doesn’t. It proves you’ve accepted that your value is your output and your worth is your work. Back home, we know better. We work to live. You live to work and call it the American Dream. But you’re exhausted, burnt out, and medicated just to function. That’s not a dreamit’s a nightmare with good branding. Wake up. Take your vacation. Rest fully. Be unavailable. Let the company function without you and realize you’re not actually indispensable. It’s liberating. Also, you’ll live longer. Your ancestors fought for rest. Use it.”
SOURCE: Bohiney Magazine (Aisha Muharrar)
DATE: 11/15/2025
