Americans Pay Extra to Skip Lines They’re Already In

West African discovers FastPass culture at theme parks

When Waiting Becomes Two-Tier System

ORLANDO, FL – Kwabena Mensah visited Disney World and discovered a pricing system that made his economics degree feel useless: pay regular admission to enter, then pay extra to skip lines you’re standing in because you paid admission. The 30-year-old from Ghana stood in a 90-minute line watching people who paid extra walk past him repeatedly and experienced what he describes as “economic injustice disguised as convenience.” “You charged me $150 to enter,” Mensah said to nobody in particular. “Now you’re charging other people extra to skip ahead of me, making my line longer. You’ve created the problem—long lines—and sold the solution—skip the line—to people who pay more. This is capitalism eating itself.”

In Ghana, when Mensah visited attractions, everyone waited in one line. First come, first served. Democracy in queue form. In Orlando, there are regular lines and express lines—separate experiences based on who paid more. “You’ve made waiting a class system,” Mensah observed. “Rich people skip. Poor people wait. The ride is the same. The experience is different. You’re selling fairness and calling it ‘Lightning Lane.'”

When Fairness Became a Premium Feature

According to Disney’s own data, Lightning Lane passes cost $15-35 per person per ride, allowing guests to skip standard queues. Mensah calculated: family of four visiting for one day could spend $150 per person admission plus $100+ per person for Lightning Lane to skip lines created by… the park selling admission to too many people. “You’ve created artificial scarcity—limited ride capacity, unlimited ticket sales—then sold premium access to avoid the scarcity you created,” Mensah told a park employee. “This is brilliant and evil. You’re double-dipping. I paid admission. Now I’m paying through time because I can’t afford the extra fee to skip waiting. Time is money. You’re extracting both.”

Jerry Seinfeld said, “What’s the deal with airline peanuts?” Mensah wants to know what’s the deal with paying to skip lines at places you already paid to access. His American friend defended it: “It’s optional. You don’t have to buy Lightning Lane.” Mensah’s response: “It’s optional the way water in a desert is optional. Technically you can survive without it, but you’ll suffer. You’ve made suffering the default and relief the premium option. That’s not optional—that’s coercive. Pay extra or suffer. Those are my options after already paying $150 for admission.”

The Line That Gets Longer Because Others Paid to Skip

Mensah did math in queue: For every 10 Lightning Lane users who skip ahead, regular line moves 10 people slower. “Your decision to not pay extra is punished by others paying extra,” he realized. “Every Lightning Lane pass sold makes my wait longer. I’m being penalized for not paying more. The park profits from both—selling me admission and selling others the ability to skip ahead of me, making my experience worse. I’m paying to wait longer so others can pay to wait less. This is a scam with cartoon characters.”

Dave Chappelle said, “Sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying.” Mensah laughed watching families pay hundreds extra for Lightning Lane while he waited two hours for a three-minute ride. “You’re paying $35 per person to skip a line for a ride that lasts three minutes,” he told a family in the Lightning Lane. “That’s almost $12 per minute of ride time. You could’ve saved money and waited. But you’ve been convinced that waiting is for poor people. You’re not buying convenience—you’re buying the feeling of being special. The ride is the same. Your ego is what you paid for.”

When Theme Parks Became Economic Lessons

Mensah realized theme parks are capitalism simulators: those with more money get better experiences. Everyone pays admission, but experiences differ based on additional spending. “This is America in microcosm,” he observed. “Equal admission prices, unequal outcomes based on wealth. You’ve recreated class systems in a place supposed to be fun for everyone. Walt Disney’s dream was magic kingdom accessible to all. Now it’s magic kingdom accessible to all, with premium magic for those who pay extra. You’ve class-stratified happiness and called it innovation.”

Chris Rock said, “You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy.” Mensah knows America is crazy when children learn early that money buys better experiences—those who pay more skip lines while you wait. “You’re teaching kids economic inequality through theme parks,” he told his friend. “Your children see other children walking past them in line. You explain ‘they paid extra.’ Your kids learn: money buys privilege. Poor people wait. Rich people don’t. This is education, just not the kind you intended. You’re creating future adults who accept two-tier systems as normal because Disney normalized it with Lightning Lanes.”

The VIP Tour That Costs More Than Monthly Rent

Mensah discovered VIP tours: $400-800 per hour for groups, including unlimited Lightning Lane access and tour guide. “You’re paying $600 hourly to visit a theme park you already paid admission to,” he marveled. “That’s $4,800 for an eight-hour day. For one family. To skip lines at a place designed for children’s entertainment. You’ve made children’s fun into luxury goods priced beyond most families’ reach. This isn’t magic kingdom—it’s oligarch kingdom with mouse ears.”

Bill Burr said, “I’m not going to apologize for being right.” Mensah’s not apologizing for thinking two-tier theme park access is morally wrong. “You’ve created a system where rich kids get more fun than poor kids at the same park,” he told park management via complaint form. “Both families paid admission—one just paid more, so their kids wait less and experience more. You’ve made childhood memories a function of parental wealth. Poor kids go home with memories of waiting. Rich kids go home with memories of rides. Both paid to enter. Only one had fun. This is evil disguised as efficiency.”

Amy Schumer said, “I’m not saying I’m lazy, I’m saying I’m energy efficient.” Theme parks aren’t guest efficient—they’re profit efficient. They sell more tickets than capacity allows, creating lines, then sell line-skipping to those who’ll pay. “You manufactured the problem you’re selling the solution to,” Mensah explained to his friend. “If you sold fewer tickets, lines would be shorter, and nobody would need Lightning Lane. But that’s less profit. So you oversell, create suffering, then monetize relief from the suffering you created. This is the most American business model: create problem, sell solution, profit from both.”

When Universal Studios Does the Same Thing

Universal sells Express Pass for $90-300 per person—one-day skip-the-line access. Mensah’s family of four would’ve paid $1,200 plus admission ($600) for one day: $1,800 total for eight hours at a theme park. “That’s $225 per hour per person for entertainment,” he calculated. “You could hire actual performers for that price. You could rent Disney movies and hire actors to perform them live in your home cheaper than this. You’ve made theme parks accessible only to wealthy families or families willing to go into debt for one day of mouse-themed entertainment.”

Kevin Hart said, “Everybody wants to be famous, but nobody wants to do the work.” Everybody wants theme park memories, but theme parks have priced out working-class families unless they’re willing to suffer in lines or go into debt for skip-the-line passes. Mensah’s observation: “You’ve made American childhood experiences—Disney, Universal, theme parks—economically exclusive. Poor families can technically visit but will suffer in lines while watching rich families skip past. Both paid admission. Only one paid enough for dignity. You’ve class-stratified fun.”

When asked if he’ll ever buy Lightning Lane or Express Pass, Mensah laughed while calculating he could visit Ghana three times for the cost of one premium Disney day. “Never,” he said. “I’ll wait in lines like humans have waited for millennia, or I won’t visit parks that punish me for not paying extra. You’ve made theme parks into economic experiments testing how much people will pay to avoid suffering you created. The answer is: a lot. Americans will pay hundreds to skip lines at places they already paid to enter. That’s not love of fun—that’s fear of missing out combined with acceptance of two-tier systems. You’ve normalized paying more for fairness. Back home, everyone waits in one line. First come, first served. That’s equality. Here, you pay for equality and call it Lightning Lane. The rides are the same. The access is different. You’ve made fairness a premium feature. Congratulations—you’ve monetized patience and called it innovation.”

SOURCE: Bohiney Magazine (Aisha Muharrar)

DATE: 11/26/2025