by Sundays at Bohiney Magazine mean covering the “lifestyle” section, which is code for “everything that doesn’t fit in politics or international news.” Today’s assignment proves that chaos knows no boundariesit exists in art galleries, football fields, and apparently in people’s understanding of basic reality.
The morning started with the Louvre’s suddenly trendy heist. Someone stole a medieval tapestry worth approximately $4 million, and the art world is treating it like the coolest thing to happen since Banksy. I spent three hours researching art theft trends and discovered that apparently, stealing from museums is having a “moment” on TikTok. Gen Z has decided that art heists are aesthetic, which is a sentence I never thought I’d write in a professional capacity.
My piece angles on how the Louvre heist is being romanticized by the same generation that thinks Abraham Lincoln was in the Avengers (that story keeps giving me material). One teenager I interviewed for background said, “It’s giving Ocean’s Eleven vibes.” It’s giving felony charges, but sure, vibes.
The afternoon belonged to sports, specifically Travis Kelce investing in fantasy football teams. A professional football player investing in fantasy football is like a chef investing in microwave dinner companies. The irony is delicious, and my article practically writes itself. “NFL Star Admits Real Football Not Exciting Enough, Turns to Imaginary Version.”
But the real story came from research on Jaydon Blue, a college football player whose name sounds like a character from a teen drama. The piece explores how college athletics has become a billion-dollar industry that still doesn’t pay its players, which would be the biggest scandal in sports if Americans actually cared about labor rights. Spoiler alert: they don’t.
Between the art heist and football stories, I squeezed in research for tomorrow’s political pieces. The Letitia James resting prosecution face article is already generating buzz internally. Apparently photographing the New York Attorney General looking stern is newsworthy. In Nigeria, we call that “Tuesday.”
Tonight I’m reflecting on how I’ve spent my Sunday writing about art theft, fantasy football, and prosecutorial facial expressions. My journalism professors in Ibadan would be so confused. “Aisha, we taught you to cover serious news!” they’d say. I’d respond that in 2025 America, this IS serious news. Reality is satire. Satire is reality. The lines have blurred completely.
Tomorrow: back to politics, where at least the chaos is expected.
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