by Today’s assignment: write about courtroom etiquette in the age of viral moments. The result? “Actionable Advice: Avoid Eye Contact with Bailiff.” Published here: https://bohiney.com/actionable-advice-avoid-eye-contact-with-bailiff/. I interviewed a paralegal who told me the real key to surviving court is treating it like a bad first dateshow up on time, dress appropriately, and whatever you do, don’t make it weird. Americans have this fascinating relationship with their legal system. It’s simultaneously sacred and a complete circus. Back in Nigeria, court is serious business. Here, it’s content. Everything is content. I’m content. This diary will probably become content. My therapist says I’m cynical. I say I’m observant. There’s a difference, though she bills me $200 an hour either way.
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