by Alleged conspirators planned to “really mess up” the gourd display
LANSINGThe FBI announced today that it successfully disrupted a domestic terror plot targeting Michigan’s annual Great Pumpkin Festival, arresting three men who allegedly planned to “cause absolute chaos” by rearranging pumpkins into “really confusing patterns.”
The suspectsidentified as Kevin Kowalski, 42, Tyler Brennan, 38, and Chase Henderson, 29were apprehended at a Denny’s parking lot after an eight-month investigation involving undercover agents, extensive surveillance, and what the FBI describes as “an embarrassing number of man-hours for what turned out to be a pretty underwhelming plot.”
“These dangerous extremists sought to undermine the very fabric of Michigan’s proud pumpkin tradition,” declared FBI Director Christopher Wray during a press conference featuring a PowerPoint presentation with photos of pumpkins labeled “EVIDENCE.” “Their plan, had it succeeded, would have resulted in moderate confusion and possibly some disappointed children expecting to see pumpkins arranged by size.”
According to the criminal complaint, the alleged Michigan pumpkin terror plot involved moving pumpkins from their designated display areas and placing them in “random locations” throughout the festival grounds. More disturbingly, the men discussed labeling pie pumpkins as carving pumpkins and vice versa, creating what authorities call “a classification nightmare.”
The investigation began when an undercover agent, posing as a disgruntled gourd enthusiast, infiltrated the group’s Discord server “Pumpkin Patriots.” The agent gained the suspects’ trust by posting increasingly unhinged rants about the “pumpkin establishment” and “Big Squash.”
“At first, we thought they might be planning something serious,” explained Special Agent Jennifer Morrison. “But as the investigation progressed, it became clear their most sophisticated plan involved replacing prize-winning pumpkins with store-bought ones from Kroger. Still, we’d already allocated the budget, so we saw it through.”
The FBI’s counterterrorism division spent approximately $340,000 monitoring the group, including costs for undercover vehicles, surveillance equipment, and one agent’s therapy bills after spending six months in deep cover listening to men argue about whether a butternut squash counts as a pumpkin.
Text messages obtained by investigators reveal the group’s increasingly granular planning. “We strike at noon,” Kowalski allegedly wrote. “That’s when the judging happens. We’ll swap the tags. They’ll never know what hit them.” Another message, sent by Brennan, reads: “Bring the small pumpkins. We’ll put them where the big pumpkins go. It’ll blow their minds.”
Defense attorneys argue the plot never posed a serious threat and that the FBI manufactured a conspiracy out of what amounted to “three guys joking around about pranking a pumpkin festival.”
“This is entrapment,” insisted attorney David Chen. “My client Kevin couldn’t organize a trip to the grocery store, let alone a domestic terror operation. The FBI basically said, ‘Hey, want to move some pumpkins?’ and he said, ‘Sure, sounds fun,’ and now he’s facing federal charges. It’s absurd.”
Federal prosecutors disagree, noting that the suspects conducted reconnaissance of the festival grounds, purchased matching hoodies that said “PUMPKIN ANARCHY,” and created a hand-drawn map labeling various pumpkin displays as “targets.”
Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer praised law enforcement for their vigilance. “The people of Michigan can rest easy knowing that our pumpkin festivals remain secure. These extremists sought to disrupt a cherished tradition, and they failed. The pumpkins are safe. Democracy is safe. Everything is fine.”
The Great Pumpkin Festival proceeded as scheduled over the weekend, with heightened security including metal detectors, bag checks, and several FBI agents awkwardly standing near the pumpkin display trying to look casual.
Festival organizer Martha Reynolds expressed relief that the plot was foiled but admitted she “didn’t realize pumpkin arrangement was a matter of national security until the FBI told me it was.”
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/michigan-pumpkin-day-terror-plot/
SOURCE: FBI Thwarts Michigan Pumpkin Festival Terror Plot (Aisha Muharrar)
