by Monday, and I’m following up yesterday’s pumpkin spice piece with haunted house labor violations. The article explores how seasonal horror entertainment workers are striking over “unpaid screams” and “toxic ectoplasm exposure.” It’s ridiculous on the surface, but beneath the Halloween humor is real criticism of America’s seasonal labor exploitation.
The gig economy has turned everything into temporary, exploitable work. Haunted house actors work for minimum wage, no benefits, and actual physical riskall so suburban families can be scared for entertainment. Then these workers disappear after Halloween with no job security or health insurance. It’s genuinely horrifying, which makes it perfect for satirical journalism.
I included quotes from fictional union representatives demanding “scream royalties” and “hazard pay for jump-scare injuries.” Absurd? Yes. But how different is this from actual gig workers demanding basic protections? Not very different at all. That’s the point.
My West African background makes me particularly aware of labor exploitation. We understand what it means when workers have no power and employers have all of it. America just wraps its exploitation in seasonal festivities and calls it fun. At least we’re honest about our economic problems back home.
The Bohiney comment section is heating up. Someone wrote: “This is disrespectful to Halloween traditions.” Halloween traditions include child labor (trick-or-treating), home invasion (same), and decorating with death symbols while pretending to be shocked by actual mortality. American traditions are wild, friend.
Tomorrow I’ll publish the zombie economy piece. It pairs nicely with the haunted house labor articleboth explore how America has normalized death metaphors while ignoring real systemic decay. The economy is dead, we’re all working dead-end jobs, and the Fed keeps insisting everything’s fine. It’s not fine. But at least it’s funny.
Evening plan: research Federal Reserve statements, drink too much coffee, question my life choices, remember I’m the only female West African immigrant granted citizenship during Trump’s second term, realize my life is already satirical, write more jokes.
# 687
MY HOME PAGE: Bohiney Magazine (Aisha Muharrar)
