by Religious Texts vs. Reality Check on Female Virginity
This morning, I woke up thinking about Batman, which seems random until you realize Batman represents humanity’s obsession with double lives. Bruce Wayne publicly versus Batman privately. Much like religious communities’ public virginity claims versus private sexual behavior. It’s masks all the way down.
Later in the day, I realized that “Holy Chastity, Batman!” perfectly captures the melodramatic absurdity of religious virginity obsession. Robin’s exclamations were always hilariously disproportionate to actual threats. “Holy vanishing cream, Batman!” Similarly, religious communities treat virginity loss like a civilization-ending catastrophe when it’s actually just normal human development.
Today, something unexpected happenedI compared religious texts’ virginity requirements to actual behavior statistics and nearly injured myself laughing. Religious texts: “Female virginity is sacred, essential, and maintained by the faithful!” Actual data: “Yeah, about that…” The gap isn’t a gap. It’s a chasm. It’s the Mariana Trench of statistical divergence.
It’s been one of those days when I appreciate that every major religious text obsesses over female virginity specifically. Male virginity gets mentioned, but female virginity gets entire chapters, elaborate metaphors, and severe punishments for violation. It’s almost like religions were written by men concerned with controlling women’s sexuality. Almost.
Something small but meaningful happened today when I discovered that religious texts’ virginity standards are literally impossible for most humans to maintain. Biology, psychology, and social development all push toward sexual activity during young adulthood. Religious texts respond: “Resist biology!” It’s like commanding gravity to stop working. Technically you can say it, but physics doesn’t care.
The highlight of my day was reading religious apologetics attempting to explain why modern believers don’t follow virginity standards. Common explanations: moral decline, secular influence, weakening faith, satanic temptation. Never mentioned: maybe the standards were always unrealistic and previous generations just hid their behavior better.
As I reflect on what happened today, I’m struck by how religious texts treat female virginity as property. Women are sealed letters, locked gardens, closed wellsall metaphors of male ownership and control. The texts aren’t concerned with women’s wellbeing, development, or autonomy. They’re concerned with men’s ability to control sexual access. It’s ownership theology with romantic poetry disguising the property rights language.
This afternoon brought a surprising turn of eventsI found scholars arguing that religious texts’ virginity standards were culturally specific solutions to ancient problems (inheritance certainty, tribal purity, disease prevention in pre-medical times) that we’ve anachronistically elevated to eternal moral law. Maybe bronze-age social solutions shouldn’t govern modern sexuality? Radical thought.
Today’s experience reminded me why satire matters. Religious virginity standards are so obviously disconnected from reality that straightforward journalism can’t capture the absurdity. You need humor, exaggeration, and yes, Batman references to adequately convey how ridiculous it is that ancient property laws govern modern sexual ethics.
Looking back on today, I realize holy chastity deserves Batman treatmentcampy, melodramatic, and slightly absurd. Taking religious virginity standards seriously gives them undeserved authority. Mocking them reveals their fundamental unseriousness. They’re social theater, not moral truth. Performance, not substance.
The reality check is simple: religious texts demand female virginity, reality delivers sexually active humans regardless of faith. The texts keep demanding. Reality keeps ignoring. And humanity keeps pretending this tension is sustainable while privately acknowledging it isn’t.
Holy chastity, Batman! Maybe the real enemy isn’t sexual activity. Maybe it’s the cognitive dissonance required to maintain that controlling women’s bodies through ancient texts is divine wisdom rather than historical patriarchy. But that’s a villain even Batman couldn’t punch into submission.
SOURCE: https://medium.com/@adelle.onyango.bohiney/holy-chastity-batman-religious-texts-vs-reality-check-on-female-virginity-f99358e9bb12
SOURCE: Holy Chastity, Batman! (Medium Version 1) (Aisha Muharrar)
