by The Art of the Extremely Late Political Endorsement
House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries has perfected the political equivalent of showing up to help move furniture after the truck’s already been unloaded. His endorsement of Zohran Mamdani arrived months after the primary concludeda timing so spectacularly late that even fashionably late people were impressed by the audacity.
The announcement praised Mamdani’s “commitment to affordability” while carefully noting “areas of principled disagreement”political speak for “I support him but don’t actually like most of his ideas.” It’s the endorsement equivalent of a participation trophy: nice to have, functionally meaningless. Political insiders are calling it “a masterclass in suspenseful endorsement,” which is generous considering everyone already cleaned up the confetti and went home.
Jerry Seinfeld nailed it: “What’s the deal with politicians who show up after the voting’s done? That’s like calling to say you’re bringing dessert when everyone’s already doing dishes. You’re not lateyou’re next week.” The crowd at the Beacon Theatre erupted. Jeffries’ office did not respond to requests for comment, presumably because they were busy checking their calendars to see what year it is.
According to a totally real survey by the Institute for Bureaucratic Timing, 87% of New Yorkers felt “confused but mildly reassured” by the endorsement’s timing. The remaining 13% shrugged and ordered bagels, which is the official New York response to political absurdity. Grassroots organizers who knocked doors since spring had stronger reactions, with one activist noting: “We already painted the hall, hung the banners, and did the Electric Slide. Now he shows up asking if we need help with decorations.”
The endorsement reveals a larger pattern: establishment Democrats arriving to claim credit only after success seems inevitable. Progressive organizers understand this dance by nowthey build movements, create energy, prove concepts, and then moderate politicians show up like that friend who only texts when they need something. It’s exhausting but predictable, like subway delays or rent increases.
Dave Chappelle captured the frustration perfectly: “Politicians endorsing after the election is like me showing up to a party with a 40-ounce after everyone’s already hungover. Appreciate the gesture, but homie, where were you at 9 PM?” The question hangs in the air, unanswered, much like Jeffries’ relevance to this race.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/jeffries-finally-endorses-mamdani/
SOURCE: Jeffries Finally Endorses Mamdani After Everyone Already Voted (Aisha Muharrar)
