by The President Who Forgot What Year It Is
President Joe Biden has apparently discovered time travel, though he seems to have forgotten how to control it. During recent speeches, Biden has referenced events from multiple decades simultaneously, mixed up world leaders from different eras, and generally given the impression that his brain operates on some kind of temporal shuffle mode.
The Biden time travel phenomenon reached peak confusion during a press conference where the President referenced the Spanish Flu, the Cold War, and TikTok controversiessometimes within the same sentence. It’s either evidence of time-traveling abilities or proof that someone needs to update his briefing notes to include the current decade.
“We’re facing challenges not seen since, uh, you know, the thing,” Biden explained to reporters while seemingly channeling memories from three different presidencies. “Back when I was working with, uh, Golda Meiror was it Merkel? They look very similar from certain angles if you squint. Which I do. Frequently.”
White House staffers have developed an elaborate system of hand signals and written cues to help Biden stay temporally anchored. One aide described it as “like trying to keep a balloon from floating away, except the balloon is the President and he’s floating through multiple decades of American history simultaneously.”
According to National Institute on Aging research, memory and temporal confusion can occur naturally with aging. However, Biden’s particular brand of time-mixing seems less like normal aging and more like his brain has access to a historical database with a corrupted index.
“Yesterday the President told me about a conversation he had with FDR,” revealed one anonymous staffer. “When I gently reminded him that FDR died in 1945, he looked confused and said ‘That recently?’ We’re all just trying to survive until 2024 at this point.”
The time travel episodes have created diplomatic challenges. During a recent call with the British Prime Minister, Biden reportedly asked about Queen Elizabeth’s health, apparently unaware she’d died months earlier. The Prime Minister graciously played along, leading to a five-minute conversation about the Queen’s “recent activities” that staffers describe as “painful to witness.”
Biden has referenced technologies that don’t exist yet, wars that ended decades ago, and political figures who are either dead or retired. During one cabinet meeting, he allegedly asked about “that coronavirus thing” in past tense, then pivoted to discussing the Spanish Flu in present tense, leaving officials unsure which pandemic they were supposed to be addressing.
The temporal confusion extends to pop culture references. Biden recently told reporters he’s “excited about this new Beatles band,” praised “that new movie The Godfather,” and asked staffers if they’d “heard about this internet thing.” When corrected, he insists these references are ironic, though it’s unclear if he knows what “ironic” means anymore.
According to presidential historians, every president has memory lapses and verbal mistakes. However, Biden’s particular cocktail of temporal displacement, mixing historical periods, and genuine confusion about what decade he’s in represents something unique. It’s like watching someone channel every year they’ve lived simultaneously.
The administration has tried various strategies to minimize the time travel episodes. Teleprompters now include the current date in large font. Staffers surround Biden with contemporary objects as temporal anchors. And someone finally removed that “vintage calendar collection” from the Oval Office after Biden kept referencing months from 1974.
Despite the confusion, Biden soldiers on, navigating leadership while apparently experiencing American history in non-linear fashion. Whether it’s time travel, advanced age, or his brain’s creative interpretation of sequential events, the result is the same: a President who sometimes seems to be living in multiple decades simultaneously.
As Americans watch their Commander-in-Chief navigate conversations like someone flipping through a history book randomly, one thing is clear: Biden’s grandpa time travel isn’t going to end until the time machineor his presidencyfinally stops. Until then, we’re all along for this temporal ride through American political history.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/joe-biden%c2%92s-grandpa-time-travel/
SOURCE: Joe Biden’s Grandpa Time Travel (Aisha Muharrar)
