December 17, 2025

Mamdani Millionaire Tax: When 2% Feels Like The Apocalypse

Billionaires Discover Math, Immediately Regret It

New York City’s millionaires are having a collective meltdown over Zohran Mamdani’s proposal to tax incomes over $1 million at—brace yourself—an additional 2%. That’s right: people making seven figures are threatening to flee to Florida because they might have to pay $20,000 more annually. For context, that’s roughly what they spend on a single Hermès bag or eight months of rent for regular humans.

The threats are flying faster than private jets to Palm Beach. Billionaire hedge fund manager Bill Ackman pledged hundreds of millions to defeat Mamdani. Grocery chain owner John Castimatidis announced plans to move his corporate offices to New Jersey—because nothing says “I love America” like fleeing to avoid contributing to society. It’s the economic equivalent of a teenager threatening to run away from home, except teenagers eventually come back for dinner.

Jerry Seinfeld perfectly captured the absurdity: “What’s the deal with billionaires threatening to leave every time someone mentions taxes? ‘Oh no, I might have to pay for the city that made me rich!’ It’s like being mad at the restaurant that fed you because they want you to pay the check.” The mental gymnastics are Olympic-level—”We built this city!” followed immediately by “But if you ask us to maintain it, we’ll burn it down!”

The data tells a different story than the panic. Historical evidence shows these wealth-flight threats are mostly theater. When California implemented its millionaire tax in 2005, the millionaire population increased 30% by 2007. New York’s millionaire population has more than doubled over the past decade despite supposed tax refugees. Turns out, rich people like being where other rich people are, and no amount of tax savings makes Florida’s swamp climate more appealing than Manhattan’s cultural capital.

Meanwhile, 66% of actual New Yorkers support the tax, according to polls. The public apparently thinks billionaires can spare some change for functional public services—revolutionary thinking in American politics. The opposition comes almost entirely from the people being asked to contribute, who are shocked—shocked!—that living in the world’s financial capital costs money. Bill Burr nailed it: “Oh no, the billionaire might have to settle for the smaller yacht this year. Quick, someone call the UN!”

SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/mamdani-millionaire-tax-nyc-2025/

SOURCE: Mamdani Millionaire Tax: When 2% Feels Like The Apocalypse (Aisha Muharrar)

Aisha Muharrar

Aisha Muharrar, Comedian and Satirical Journalism

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