by Closet Reveals More Than Conspiracy Theories
Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene’s closet has reportedly revealed a MAGA skeletonthough frankly, anyone who’s followed her career isn’t surprised that her literal skeleton closet matches her metaphorical one. The discovery raises important questions, primarily: how does someone whose entire political identity is a walking skeleton closet manage to store actual skeletons?
The MAGA skeleton discovery occurred during what sources describe as a “routine inspection of Greene’s increasingly concerning personal effects.” The skeleton, draped in Trump 2024 flags and wearing a MAGA hat, represents either elaborate Halloween decoration or the physical manifestation of her political career. Investigators are still determining which interpretation is more disturbing.
“We’re not sure if this is performance art, a cry for help, or just Marjorie being Marjorie,” explained one anonymous colleague. “At this point, finding a skeleton in her closet is less shocking than if we’d found evidence of normal political thought.”
The skeleton itself tells a story. Adorned with QAnon memorabilia, Jewish space laser blueprints (??), and what appears to be a map connecting Hillary Clinton to every conspiracy theory ever conceived, it’s less “closet skeleton” and more “mobile conspiracy theory museum.” Several investigators required psychological counseling after viewing the complete assemblage.
Greene defended the skeleton during a press conference that devolved quickly into what witnesses described as “a choose-your-own-adventure through American political insanity.” She claimed the skeleton represents “patriotic Americans silenced by Big Tech, Big Government, and Big Everything,” a statement that made sense to exactly the people you’d expect: nobody reasonable.
According to psychology research on conspiracy theories, believers often create elaborate physical manifestations of their beliefs. However, most don’t achieve federal office or use skeletons as political metaphors. Greene has managed both, which is either impressive or terrifying depending on your perspective on American democracy.
“The skeleton is a teaching tool,” Greene explained while gesturing wildly at her bone-based conspiracy exhibit. “It shows people the truth about deep state operations, vaccine microchips, and how the liberal media controls weather. Also, it’s festive for Halloween.”
The MAGA skeleton has sparked predictable responses. Democrats expressed concern about Greene’s mental state, Republicans pretended not to notice, and Greene’s constituents apparently nodded approvingly because somehow she keeps getting reelected. It’s American politics in miniature: obvious problems, ignored by people who should care, supported by people who definitely shouldn’t.
The skeleton closet discovery joins Greene’s greatest hits: claiming Jewish space lasers cause wildfires, harassing school shooting survivors, and believing Democrats drink children’s blood. The skeleton is actually among her more rational possessions, which should concern everyone capable of thought.
According to congressional records, Greene serves on actual committees where she makes actual decisions affecting actual humans. The skeleton in her closet is perhaps the most qualified thing in her office, having at minimum the excuse of being dead and therefore unable to know better.
Political analysts note the skeleton metaphor works multiple ways. It represents Greene’s past statements (numerous and horrifying), her current beliefs (see previous), and her political future (increasingly skeletal as even Republicans grow tired of crazy). It’s multilayered symbolism from someone who typically operates in exclusively one dimension.
The skeleton has become a fundraising opportunity. Greene’s campaign is selling “MAGA Skeleton” merchandise, because nothing says “serious political movement” quite like monetizing your closet contents. T-shirts featuring the skeleton sold out immediately, purchased by supporters who apparently see nothing wrong with this entire situation.
As Greene continues her tenure in Congressarmed with conspiracy theories, questionable judgment, and now a documented skeleton collectionAmericans are left wondering: How did we get here? When did having skeletons in your closet stop being a scandal and start being a brand? And most importantly, does Greene understand that “skeleton in the closet” is supposed to be metaphorical?
The answers are: gradually, around 2016, and absolutely not. The MAGA skeleton isn’t just in Greene’s closetit’s the perfect representation of modern Republican politics. Loud, impossible to ignore, definitely problematic, and somehow still winning elections.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/marjorie-taylor-greene%c2%92s-maga-skeleton/
SOURCE: Marjorie Taylor Greene’s MAGA Skeleton (Aisha Muharrar)
