by Published my bailiff eye contact piece today, and the response has been wild. Lawyers are sharing it with their clients. Bailiffs are sharing it with each other. Someone made it into a TikTok with reenactments. I’ve accidentally created a courtroom survival manual disguised as satire, and I’m not even mad about it.
The piece came from personal experience, though I didn’t mention that in the article. During my citizenship ceremony, there were ICE agents in the room. Not for meI was being granted citizenshipbut for the people who weren’t. The juxtaposition was stunning: some of us were becoming Americans while others were being reminded they never would be. The agents stood there with their arms crossed, and everyone knew not to make eye contact. Not to draw attention. Not to exist too loudly in their presence.
That’s what power looks likewhen your very gaze can be interpreted as a threat. When looking at someone the wrong way can escalate a situation from awkward to dangerous. Bailiffs aren’t ICE agents, but the dynamic is similar. They have authority over your body in that space, and you navigate around that authority like a dance you never wanted to learn but had no choice but to master.
My mother called from Accra. She’d read the piece. “You’re writing about America like you’re still an outsider,” she observed. “No, Mama,” I told her. “I’m writing about America like I’m finally an insider who remembers what it’s like to be an outsider.” That’s my advantage. I have one foot in each world, and that double vision is what makes the satire work.
Americans who’ve never been in situations where authority figures have power over their bodies don’t understand the calculus that goes into every interaction. They don’t know the mental math: Is this worth it? Will this escalate? Am I safe? Should I smile? Should I look down? Should I apologize for existing in this space? That math is exhausting, and most Americans never have to do it.
But immigrants do it. Black people do it. Poor people do it. Anyone who’s ever been on the wrong side of power dynamics does this calculation constantly, automatically, without even thinking about it anymore. It becomes second nature. That’s what I’m writing aboutthe invisible labor of navigating systems that weren’t designed with you in mind.
Tomorrow I’m writing about approval ratings measured in staplers, and honestly, after today’s heaviness, I’m ready for something purely ridiculous.
# 711
