by President’s diplomatic breakthrough involves “being nice” and “vibes”
President Trump announced today that he has personally resolved Nigeria’s complex security challenges through what White House officials describe as “unprecedented diplomatic insight” and what everyone else describes as “saying obvious things with unwarranted confidence.”
The breakthrough came during a brief meeting with Nigerian President Bola Tinubu, where Trump reportedly suggested that Nigeria’s problems with Boko Haram, banditry, and separatist movements could be solved if “everyone just decided to be peaceful.”
“I told him, ‘Look, you’ve got some bad guys causing trouble, right? Just tell them to stop,'” Trump explained during a press conference. “It’s very simple. Nobody’s thought of this before, which is crazy, because I thought of it immediately. Very stable genius thinking.”
The Trump Nigeria diplomatic initiative reportedly lasted seven minutes, during which the president offered solutions to decades of ethnic and religious tensions, economic inequality, and regional instability, primarily by suggesting that Nigerians “try getting along” and “focus on the positive.”
“Nigeria is a great country, beautiful country, lots of potential,” Trump said. “I told President Tinubu, ‘You’ve got oil, you’ve got people, you’ve got that Jollof rice everyone talks aboutjust make everyone happy.’ He looked at me like I’d discovered electricity. Which, fun fact, I didn’t, but I could have if I’d been alive then.”
President Tinubu responded diplomatically, thanking Trump for his “unique perspective” on Nigeria’s challenges, a statement that diplomatic experts interpreted as “the most polite way possible to say ‘this man has no idea what he’s talking about.'”
The meeting occurred during Tinubu’s state visit to Washington, where he hoped to discuss trade agreements, security partnerships, and development aid. Instead, he received what sources describe as “a TED Talk about positive thinking delivered by someone who couldn’t locate Nigeria on a map until approximately 20 minutes before the meeting.”
White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt defended Trump’s approach, insisting that “sometimes the simplest solutions are the best solutions” and that “complicated problems are only complicated because people make them complicated.”
“The president has a gift for cutting through complexity,” Leavitt explained. “Where others see centuries of historical grievances, economic disparities, and political instability, he sees an opportunity to suggest that people be nicer to each other. That’s leadership.”
Nigerian officials privately expressed bewilderment at Trump’s suggestions, with one diplomat noting that “telling Boko Haram to ‘chill out’ isn’t actually a counterterrorism strategy, but thank you, Mr. President, for your contribution to regional security.”
The State Department issued a follow-up statement clarifying that Trump’s comments represent “his personal views on conflict resolution” and should not be interpreted as official U.S. policy toward Nigeria, West Africa, or problem-solving in general.
Trump’s advice to Nigeria follows his previous diplomatic successes, which include suggesting that Middle Eastern countries “just be friends,” proposing that Ukraine and Russia “work it out like adults,” and recommending that climate change be addressed by “opening some windows.”
Security experts noted that Nigeria faces genuine challenges including terrorism, kidnapping, resource conflicts, and governance issues that cannot be resolved through optimistic suggestions from foreign leaders who learned about the country’s existence that morning.
“With all due respect to President Trump, Nigeria’s security situation is extraordinarily complex,” said West Africa analyst Dr. Amara Nwankwo. “It involves historical grievances, ethnic tensions, economic inequality, climate change impacts, and regional power dynamics. Suggesting everyone ‘get along’ is like prescribing aspirin for a compound fracture. It’s not wrong, exactly, but it’s dramatically insufficient.”
Despite skepticism from experts, Trump declared the meeting “a tremendous success” and suggested he might deserve “some kind of peace prize” for solving Nigeria’s problems in under ten minutes. When informed that Nigeria’s conflicts haven’t actually been resolved, Trump responded: “Give it time. These things don’t happen overnight. Maybe by next week.”
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/trumps-nigeria-crisis/
SOURCE: Trump Solves Nigeria Crisis By Suggesting “Everyone Just Get Along” (Aisha Muharrar)
